Take off your shoes, please.

The D.Va

And, so, I've finished reading The Secret World of Johnny Depp. Started reading on Freddie Mercury. For those of you, who don't know, he's the frontman for the band, Queen. A victim of AIDS, he's still a living legend to many.

Before I completely put Mr Depp's bio aside, I'd want to share some quotes in the book, that I find, really, really interesting, and I identify with. Somehow.

These are said by my one & only, Johnny Depp.

'I don't want to know who's hot, who's not, who's rich, who's poor, who's successful, who's just, you know, taken a dump. I don't care. I don't want to know any of it.'

'In my high school, there were different classes of people: The Jocks, The Smart Kids, and The Rednecks. Then there were The Burnouts. None of the girls wanted to hang out with me. I was just, you know, a kind of weedhead - a weird kid.'

What the hell? I'd definitely hang out with you.

'I know it sounds strange, but I've never really had much ambition. I never really wanted to be an actor or a director. I was a musician and still am. The other stuff just happened.'

'With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. Otherwise,it's just not acting. It's lying.'

'Since I was a teenager I've been afraid of being a loser, a guy with no talent or ambition. No matter how much money I've made as an actor, I can't seem to get rid of this image of myself as a white trash loser.'

'I've always been attracted to losers. I've never played the Hollywood game just for the sake of winning. I do what I want and, if it works within my career, great. If not, fuck it. I won't be a slave to success.'

'This girl I dated when I was a teenager, she had an Angora sweater. When we broke up, I was upset, but not about her. It was the sweater.'

'I've never liked being in the public eye. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm not really interested in glitz. I prefer to live a life filled as much as possible with unusual experience.'

'There's nothing worst than someone who considers themself a serious actor, because an actor is essentially a liar.'

'I'd like to have the opportunity to keep working. I'm still a little shocked that I keep getting gigs, keep getting jobs. I feel very fortunate, very lucky, that people still hire me.'

'I'm not sure I'm capable of leaving behind a personal message. But if I did, I hope it would be that it's okay to be different from the crowd. In fact, it's really good to be different from the crowd, and that we should really question ourselves before we pass a judgement on someone who is different to us.'

'If anything, mine has been a career of failures. I think I'm getting all this attention right now because people feel sorry for me. I'm an underdog. Other actors look at me and think, that poor bastard is still hacking away at it.'

'As an actor i think you owe it to the audience to try something different each time. It is important to keep exploring. If you keep doing the same old thing, it is like Thursday, Friday, Saturday - meatloaf. I just try to do different things each time. Frankly, it's a miracle that I keep getting jobs.'

Extracted from The Secret World of Johnny Depp by Nigel Goodall.

Mr Depp has this very weird, unique sense of humour, which really cracks me up.

hah...

Quick update.

I really don't see the point of dating anymore. It, kind of, lost its meaning - to me. And somehow, I feel like I've been acting really cold towards the male species around me. Maybe, it's due to the insecurities, regret, and angst within me. I don't know how much time it needs, to heal. I won't be dating till it heals. That might be a long time.


We shall be juvenile delinquents.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Let's get this straight. I have ALWAYS been a Johnny Depp fan. Reading his biography, just strengthens that. I'm not obsessed, or anything. I'm pretty much fascinated, and admire him, and his talents.

When I first read about one of the movies he acted in, Blow, I kind of taken the word for its literal meaning. I got the meaning along the way.

Blow is COCAINE.

I feel pretty dumb. BUT! At least I learnt something.

yay!

This is definitely a different side of Mr Depp. Like, it has always been Mr Depp in comedic characters. But, now, there he is, as George Jung. The biggest drug dealer in America at a point of time. He was also the one who brought blow into America. And Johnny is him.

Johnny as George Jung.

Of all Mr Depp's films, only Edward Scissorhands had made me cry. However, surprisingly, this movie, too, made me cry.

At the end of it all, it's said that Jung's daughter, Kristina Sunshine Jung, hadn't visited her dad, yet. Jung's serving sentence till 2015. I just hope that she would come to a realisation, and actually visit him. At least, once. Just once. It'd mean the world to him.

Somehow, I feel this connection. I'd visit him if I have the chance.




We shall be juvenile delinquents.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Been spending days watching movies online. Movies that my dearest Mr Depp acted in. Reading his biography led me to. And, I got to admit, I'm so amazed by his acting. His passion. It just, shows through. I got nothing, but praises for him. Looking at the movies he acted in, the characters he played, it can make me cry. You'll realise how amazing he really is. It is just so fascinating. He's seriously more than just a handsome face.

I just finished watching Donnie Brasco. A mafia story, along the line of The Godfather. I don't know why, but, I just cried at the end of the film.

Johnny Depp plus Al Pacino equals MAGIC!

I just fell in love with Lefty (Pacino) along the way. He.. just.. leaves me in.. tears.



All I have to say is that Donnie Brasco is a MUST WATCH!

I secretly wish I could work with Johnny Depp & Al Pacino...

Been using far too much laxatives. But why do I seem to be gaining weight, still?

F.U.C.K.

If laxatives don't work no more, what am I supposed to turn to? Am I supposed to starve myself, like I used to?

THAT SUCKS.

Ain, what's wrong with you??! Fuck you. You seriously suck!

I don't want to be this way. I don't want to feel what I'm feeling right now. It's miserable.

TOTAL MISERY.


We shall be juvenile delinquents.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Benny & Joon.

All I can say is, LOVELY.

Hearing to the title for the first time, I didn't have the faith, and interest to actually watch it. However, for Mr Depp's sake, I watched it anyway.

And it was delightful, I shall say. Seriously.

Ben and Joon are siblings, who are also orphans. Ben, as the elder brother, takes care of Joon, his little sister. Joon, may be normal like others, however she suffers from some metal instability. Easily agitated, and having voices play in her head, she is really unpredictable. And then, comes along Sam (Johnny Depp). Sam is an illiterate. He doesn't know how to read, nor write. However, he's talented. Talented as a comic. Not just any normal comics, BUT, a silent one. A silent comic. Ben says that he is the next Buster Keaton. For your info, Buster Keaton is a popular silent comic alongside Charlie Chaplin, and Harold Lloyd. The story starts to take a twist when Joon, and Sam decided to run away, and pursue their love, which Ben is strongly against.

To know the rest of the story, you HAVE to watch it.

MUST WATCH!

To me, personally, its the BEST that I've ever seen of Johnny Depp. I can just sense so much passion, and heart and soul from him, to carry out this role, as Sam. From the way he delivers his lines. The way he reacts. His facial expressions. It really justifies the fact why I love him so much. He really IS one of the very talented people in Hollywood.

It'd be an honour, and a dream come true to actually meet him, in person. I just have so much reaspect for him, especially after reading his biography.

I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP.



Somehow, it hurts so much inside. Somehow. Someway.


We shall be juvenile delinquents.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.


Firstly. David Cook is the American Idol! YAY!!!
He got me so in love with him. His voice. His eyes. He is all so mesmerising.



Well, basically, right now, I am busy reading. The Secret World of Johnny Depp. I'm halfway through the book. And, it's really like stripping him down to who he really is. I didn't know that he's a 'bad boy' in his early years. I LOIKE! But, the bummer is that, he's the same age as my mum! G.A.W.D. And so, in the book, one of the movies he acted in, Cry Baby is mentioned quite a lot. So, I decided to watch it.

I thought it was like those mob, gangster stories. But, to my surprise, it's more to Grease! Which is one of my favourite movies of all time. Gawd! I totally loved it!

You people SHOULD definitely watch it.

Its Johnny Depp, like you've not seen before. Not that weirdo, queer guy, all made up, like the one portrayed in Edward Scissorshand, or, Sweeney Todd.

God. He is so charismatic, and charming in Cry Baby.

imagine making love to johnny depp... hah..

I came across this as I was reading the book.

"Sure, he liked the image, but still questioned whether one person could be with another until 'death them do part'. He simply couldn't tell if that was humanly possible."

Way to go Mr Depp. We share the same, EXACT sentiment. Well, at least we did. You're happily married with two kids now.

hah...


We shall be juvenile delinquents.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

I didn't have any sleep last night, or just now, or whatever you call it. And, I'm freaking lethargic right now. Restless. I just want to move around, but, I'm pretty stoned.

I'm like talking crap on MSN right now. I don't really know what I'm writing anyways.

I'm so in the mood to listen to Nirvana. It just go well with the mood I'm in. The songs they make are so pessimistic. Sadistic. Suicidal.

Stoned. Suicidal.

Kurt Cobain is LURVE.


I secretly wish that I could date Kurt Cobain.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

I love Muddybanks.

And, Sourgrapes, too.

Did I mention that Drvens' bassist is sexy?

heee...

Yesterdays' sheesha session was the bomb. Two hookahs for five people.

Officially a sheesha addict.

And, guess what? I'm doing an interstitial on the adverse effects of sheesha.

How contradicting is that?

hah...

I'm a delighted soul today. Why?? Because.. I bought two new perfume!

Yay!

Sheesha addict, plus perfume addict.

Beautiful combination.


For, I am a one man army.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Yes. Looking forward to May 16. And also May 17!

Why are there so many good shows on May 17?

It just makes it harder for us to choose which show we should actually attend.

SUPPORT LOCAL TALENTS.

They need OUR support.

I just realised that I've only got me, myself, and I.


For, I am a one man army.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

I feel like cursing, and swearing right now.

No, no, Ain. You got to control yourself. Don't use too many profanities. It's horrible. Horrendous. You got to cut down on it, lady.

I should probably just go to sleep.

Definitely.

Sleepy. So sleepy.

My brain doesn't want to stop working. Is there any off switch somewhere, that I can press on, and switch it off?

Seriously sleepy.

I feel like sheesha-ing.

hah...

I think I'm high.

I can just ramble on, and on, and on, right now.

Gawd. Ain, shut up already.


It's never enough.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

G.A.W.D

Peepshows' EP launch. It was MIND BLOWING. EARTH SHATTERING. EXPLOSIVE. And, MASSIVE.

It's their best that I've ever seen.

Proud of them! Keep it up guys.

Mayne, I love 'em.

Well, let's just say Funky Song is for me larr uh.

hah...

Try chilling with Freaky Z and company. You'll never stop laughing.

heh...

Ouhh. There's NO more US, anyways.

Let's just say, I'm single, and not looking for any replacement right now.


Underneath it all.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Erik, Erik.

Call yourself a Survivor fan?

Just for redemptions' sake, you gave up your immunity idol?

G.A.W.D.

It is called UTTER STUPIDITY.

I can play the game better than you, my dear Erik.

It makes you look adorably dumb, though.

heee....


You're so cute, boy.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

The Way That I Love You
By Ashanti

After all of these times that we've tried
I found out we were living a lie
And after all of this love that we made
I know now you don't love me the same

The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you

I woke up kinda early today
And something told me from that moment
It wouldn't be the same
It felt like you were hiding something
But I didn't push it
I didn't complain or say nothin
I tried to act like I didn't see it
Cause deep down I knew I didn't want to believe it

But there it was, it was you and her
You left your sidekick on the nightstand
And I read

Everything you did, and everything you said and
And now I'm standing here looking like damn..
I thought it was you and I
Now all I got to say is why?

After all of these times that we've tried
I found out we were living a lie
And after all of this love that we made
I know now you don't love me the same

The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you

I notice now, that when I'm around
You be trying to lock the door
Whispering on the phone
Now wait a minute, since we been in this house
You ain't never did this before
Tell me what's this about?
*what's this about?*

I tried to sit and say to myself
This here is too good he don't want nothing else
But there it was, it was you and her
You left your credit card receipt inside the beamer babe

Everything you bought her, and everything you spending
Now I'm standing here once again
I thought it was you and I
Now I all I have to say is why?

After all of the times that we've tried
I found out we were living a lie
And after all of this love that we made
I know now you don't love me the same

The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you

You Lied, You lied, Oh Why?
Why'd you have to lie to me?
Why'd you have to lie to me?
Why'd you have to lie to me?
Why?

After all of the times that we've tried
I found out we were living a lie
And after all of this love that we made
I know now you don't love me the same

The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you
The way that I love
The way that I love you

Love it. Beautifully written, and composed. The video clip is off the meter. TWISTED. The element of surprise is present. I loike!

No, no. Really. What is us again?

And, I ponder.

48% vs 52%.


You don't have to know.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Its the longing.

The yearning.

The need.

The want.

The craving.

The thirst.

The hunger.

I need to be thinner.

I NEED to be thinner.

Even if I have to bear those excruciating pain that laxatives contribute.

Even if I have to throw up every single trace of food in me.

I DON'T CARE!

I NEED TO BE THINNER.
I WANT TO BE THINNER.

well, do you think I really want to do all these stupid, and dumb things.

just to be thinner?

i'm thin enough right?

what are you doing, ain?

why are you hurting yourself?

YOU SUCK.

I'm not ashamed to say that I was anorexic. And currently, I'm bulimic. I think I need help. But, will help work if I don't help myself? So, FUCK help. What else is there? Counseling? Counseling for a stubborn person like me? I doubt so. I'm addicted to starvation.

Don't bother. Maybe, I'll just die from it one day. That's the worst that could ever happen, right?

To you, people, who's reading this, don't ever try to be anorexic, nor bulimic. And, I mean NEVER. It's addictive.

Seriously, DON'T even think about it.

Let's see. It's been a week since you last called? That should be right.

I think we should talk. Like really talk.


You don't seem to care.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

I ate a lot today.

I'm not happy with that.

Guilt engulfs me.

I needed to seek solitude in something, someone, something.

I threw up. Definitely not once. That's for sure.

But, still, the feeling of content wasn't there.

Had my dosage of some laxatives.

And, now I'm contented.

VERY CONTENTED.

I still feel fat.

FUCK.

What's us, again?

It does seem like I don't care. As though I'm indifferent. Truth is, I do care.


You don't seem to care.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

IRONMAN IS MARVELLOUS.

If there is one word to describe it, that'd be it. MARVELLOUS. Others may be engulfed in all the effects used. And, I must say it's brilliant. However, I was attracted to the script more. The way the lines are produced, and said by the characters, it's magical. Witty, without being over the top. The screenwriter is superb.

LOVE IT. LOVE IT. LOVE IT.

... Robert Downey Jr is sexy. He turns me on in this flick. Oooooh... heee...

It's been 5 days since you last called. Maybe, you're just busy. With work. Or maybe, the ex-girlfriend.

I said maybe.


P.S. I Love You.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

I've just finished watching P.S. I Love You. Hence, the title for this post. It's really, really sweet. I'm in love with Jerry. He's hopelessly romantic. There are three main lady characters. They remind me of us, Leena, and Fyde. With me being Holly. The movie, just touches me. It portrays the power of true love.

true love...

I did cry watching it. Although, it's not as romantic as The Notebook, it still has its own magic to it.

I shall go read the book.


P.S. I Love You.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

What the hell?

Almost everyone knows now?

I don't mind people knowing. It's just that it's at a stage, where, it's really not stable yet.

It may, or, may not work out. Hope it does, though.

Keyword here. HOPE.

Syaf, you suck. But, I still love you the same.

hah...

Hmm.. seems like you still have a little something for her.

And, it seems like you don't even care. About you, me, us. Don't get me wrong. I'm not paranoid, or anything. It just feels so? I miss you so. I bet you don't know.

I don't expect phone calls from you every night, no. You know that. I made that clear.

But, why does it seems to me like I'm the only one, trying to make this work?

I don't know.

I really don't.

Fuck. One whole packet of Famous Amos. And, now I feel fat again.

FUCK.


He don't have to know.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Prom Night (2008)

So, I just finished watching this movie.

Storyline-wise, it's pretty much similar to other suspense/thriller movies, such as Scream, and I Know What You Did Last Summer. The only difference is that the audience is introduced to the killer right from the start. So, the suspense is not in knowing who the killer is. It's more to how he goes about getting to the main character.

Basically, it's about this guy, who is actually a college teacher, having a liking for one of his student. He went berserk, head over heels for her. However, like many other stories, the feeling wasn't reciprocated. So, he went psycho, and killed every single family member of this Donna. And then, he was caught, and sentenced to some life imprisonment. However, three years after that, somehow, he managed to escape, and fled. So cliche. That was when all th action took place. It was prom night, and the students, including Donna were dancing through the night. Amongst the fun, havoc broke loose at one of the hotel suite, where Donna, and her friends were staying for the night. One, by one, her friends were killed. And, the story goes on. You want to know?

GO WATCH!

heee...

There was one thing that got me annoyed, though. In terms of technicalities, camera-wise, there was just too much movement. Almost in every scene, the panning, from left, to right, up till down, the roundabouts, it gets you dizzy. It may be intentional - to show the confusion, havoc, that unstable state of mind of the psycho killer. But, still, it does not give the crew the license to overdo it. They should have toned it down a little. Less of that, maybe more on the symbolism? They can even play with colours to create the mood.

With all that said, if i were to rate, out of 5, I would give a 3.

Prom Night - 3/5

I'm gonna watch Superhero Movie next.

yay!


The curse is broken.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Hear The Journalists Scream.

The Scandal Hunters.

The Past Which Moulds The Present.

I Am The Only D.va Around.