Take off your shoes, please.

The D.Va

Got a call from an unknown residential number while on my way to da train station.

Answered it just cuz I thought it was some future employer.

And it turned out to be a call from Singapore Sports School. And da guy was saying dat my application for da badminton audition is approved.

So here's how da convo went...

Man: I'm calling from Singapore Sports School. You've been selected to come down for da badminton audition you've applied for. Which is happening tomorrow (today) at 3pm.

Me: HUH?? Sports School? Badminton? Wad fuck? I don't even know how to play badminton. Wad da hell are u talking about? I didn't do no applications.

Man: You're Ain Zulkifni, right? Nurul Ain Zulkifni.

Me: DUH.

Man: I have your application here with me. It says here you have THREE years experience in badminton.

Me: (Laughs histerically) Dude. You're sick. I don't play no badminton. I don't know how to play badminton, nor am i interested.

Man: Mm.. do you know how to serve da shuttlecock?

Me: (Laughs SUPER hysterically) Is this some prank or something...

Man: Mm.. do u play any other sports then? Wad about water polo?

Me: (still laughing) My bf plays water polo. Do u want him to come down instead? (laughs & laughs & laughs)

Man: You don't play any other sports?

Me: I do. But I work out more. Not really like into sports THAT much. (still laughing)

Man: Ouh. Do u wanna be a personal trainer then?

... and da convo continues.

Da main point is.. Richard Mark Jensen, I'm so gonna kill you when I see you for playing this prank on me.

ahaha...



So, its April 28th.

And yet, I'm still not bloody.

This is nerve wrecking.

I'm gonna go for a swim tomorrow.

Excessive narcissism is a psychological problem.


Swim. Swam. Swam.

Lotza Lurrrve,
.AinZulkifni.

Hear The Journalists Scream.

The Scandal Hunters.

The Past Which Moulds The Present.

I Am The Only D.va Around.